I find Jay Earley's approach here better. He also offers no single exercise on how to approach exiles in his book even though I don't find the exercises particularly intuitive anyway. I wish Richard Schwartz would take this in consideration more often when actively discouraging people to do it by themselves. Maybe the few people who can do it by themselves were people who were forced to do it by themselves and therefore had no choice but to muster the courage to go to exiles alone? I mean some people find themselves in life circumstances where their exiles get constantly triggered and you can't just wait who knows how long to do something about it. So what are people in my situation supposed to do? Just learn to live with the trauma until maybe with lots of luck sometime in the future someone qualified will be there to help me? Well Richard Schwartz says most people (himself included) need someone with them to go to exiles. In fact my family is the main reason why I got traumatized in the first place and I have no real friends. There is no one in my life I could think of right now who could help facilitate the IFS process for me. At the same time I have no healthy social support system. I've also tried to find a way to get online IFS therapy with no success. So access to an IFS therapist right now and probably for many years in the future is not available. I live in a country (Germany) where IFS is practically still almost unknown. My problem with this is that he actively discourages people who are kind of forced to do it by themselves. ![]() Ideally it would be an IFS therapist but at the very least someone else who can stay in Self while one gets emotional. So I'm currently reading "No bad parts" by Richard Schwartz and a couple of times throughout the book he stresses that one should not go near ones exiles without help.
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